Post 2: Post-Thanksgiving Meditations

Every time I study for my Elementary Ancient Greek class, I get overwhelmed with the sheer amount of information I haven't learned. My professor is very passive-aggressive, and treats the whole class like idiots and never tries to individually help weaknesses of the students, even when there's only 8 students in the class. Thus, I still don't understand how accents changed, and he could have easily gone over the rules with me one-on-one but does not recognize the fact that I need help. So I fail the quizzes and barely pass the tests, and the best grade I can hope for in that class is a C. I have to say I don't really give a crap about my GPA, except I feel guilty for not giving a crap because grades and GPA are important for getting into grad school. Why does all my experiences, whether miserable, exhilarating, or merely bland get summed up into one neat little transcript that decides my future? Why are my parents paying so much money for me to have a crappy professor who doesn't care if the whole class fails? I keep saying I can't wait for the next 3 weeks to go by, but what am I going to do in the meantime? I'm slipping further and further out of the B range with no hope of an A any longer. I wish I didn't so much about grades, (scratch that, I was about to write "when I dread going to class every day" but I don't actually dread going to that class). Yes, I hate the professor, but I love translating Greek because it is an insane and tyrannical language that makes no sense, just like my professor. But at least the Greek isn't passive-aggressive towards students. I just want to have fun in college and read novels and watch T.V. shows, not have trouble sleeping because of stress over failing a test I haven't even taken yet. Somehow I feel encouraged though that this will all teach me a lesson and because I believe I have some chance of getting a B on the quiz tomorrow. The only parts I'm really worried about are the vocab and knowing what form the Aorist takes, because that verb form is a sneaky little fucker. Always I have to be grateful that I'm in a great school, I'm going on two free trips next year, and I have a great home. There's only 3 more weeks of this hellish class and then it's home sweet home where I will lose at least 20 pounds because I am overweight according to the BMI index, and because I feel disgusting everytime I eat, especially when it comes to good food. I no longer stick to Doctor Small's diet and I eat chocolate all the time. Oy gavey woman! There's something so therapeutic to just free-writing and formulating my thoughts as they follows sentences I've just written. I feel so much calmer now than when I first sat down to write this blog. I'll just prepare myself for bed and study a bit more Greek and then it's beddy bye bye. Whew! Thinking this much is exhausting!